Halloween. We don't normally look like this.

The Geek Family loves Halloween. Not because we have the awesomest costumes on the block, but because we love candy. Probably the entire family's favorite food. Candy. We put on the most basic costumes necessary and go to wherever a party is that is handing out candy. We collect the candy and eat the candy. Careful parsing out of the candy into modest piles is not for us. Stuff in face, consume, repeat. That's our mantra. Here we are dressed up for the Harvest Festival at our church/school. The Geek Family did very well in the candy department. Very well.

Mommy's Little Princess 

She had her heart set on being a Power Ranger. We got the costume, a face mask, a sword, everything. And ten minutes before we left, after she was already rigged up in her outfit, she decided to be a butterfly fairy and nothing, NOTHING would change her mind. I quickly painted a butterfly on her face, which she scrubbed off using her tights on the way to the party. When she realized her tights were dirty, she commenced to wailin' and flailin'. She only calmed down when I reminded her that we were about to go get tons of candy. 

This one was supposed to be Hermione Granger. But when it came down to the deciding point, her desire for lots of makeup won out over her desire to be a pretty witch. I guess she's a cross between Hermione and Lord Voldemort. Whatever. She did very well gathering candy for the family. 

And then, for some bizarre reason, there was Bonzo, the Wall-Eyed clown. He was horrifying. But you got a piece of candy if you braved sticking your head out of his mouth, so it was totally worth it. 

GG1 here decided to go all in and reach pleadingly for salvation as Bonzo painfully swallows her into his gullet, which is filled with the souls of naughty children. And candy. So again, totally worth it. 

Princess of the Dead here simply willed candy into her bag. No need to earn it by playing silly games. 

Bonzo was no match for GG2. See how his eyes are no longer wall-eyed with frenzy desire for souls? Instead, he is terrified, because he knows he is no match for Mommy's Little Princess. 

I didn't even have to tell MOS how to cheat at this game. He simply figured it out and scored nearly half a bag of candy before the teenager running it realized what was happening. Good job, son, in your nondescript superhero costume. Good job. 

And then there's this one. Put on just enough of a costume so that he would be considered appropriately outfitted for the party and could garner his own massive stash of candy. That's supposed to be a tear drop under his eye that he got in prison. I drew it on myownself with black eyeliner. 

We went on a hayride. MOS couldn't sit with us since I was the only adult in the back of the trailer with eight kids. He sat up front and had a much better time since he was too far away for me to stop him eating candy. 

Queen of the Damned. GG1 took this picture of me when we were on the hayride.  You know, 'cause the undead love hayrides.

Back to Mr. I Wish I Had Gone to Prison. He got a prison tattoo from the sweet little girl manning the face painting booth. Poor girl. He wanted his fraternity number and fraternity name. You know, for all those times when you need some street cred with the wait staff at Applebee's. You whip out your frat ID and they fall all over themselves bringing you chicken and waffles.

Hope you enjoyed our costumes, because we are going to wear the exact same ones next week when it's actually Halloween. Because trick or treating is where we score big. We might get enough candy to hold us until Thanksgiving. Maybe. If we come to your house, you better have some candy stashed away for us. We have been known to enter a domicile and forcibly take candy from its terrified residents. Be forewarned. The Geeks are hungry.