Look how easy!

The weekend before Christmas I said to GH, "Honey, I want to rearrange the living room and school room furniture. Be a dear and help me out?" I batted my eyes and swished my hips just so. He was powerless to refuse me. Poor thing. He thought we were maybe moving the love seat over a few feet. Nope, I wanted to swap the school side of the room and the TV watching side. Major rearranging. But these pics make it look so easy! However, it really took hours. We forced the children to play outside while the rearranging commenced.

Here is GH, only partway through the rearranging process, looking a might bit chagrined. What's wrong, sweetiepiehoneydarlingangellamb? What is it? 

Oh. A couch-shaped pile of junk. Evidence that you married a slovenly woman who is unwilling to run a broom up under the couch every once in a while. After he saw this mess I was forced to sashay my hips a few more times. He forgave me and we moved on.

No, this is not a "before" picture, although as a home schooling mom of four, I can tell you that the school room frequently looks like this after a long day. Nope, this was midway through the rearranging process; I decided that the school room section should be over by the windows to take advantage of all the sunlight during this darker time of year. Plus, the junk under the couch really had to be cleaned up and I didn't see any other way of doing it but to move the whole darn thing. So to the other side of the room it must go!

Ah, here we go. "After." Not really cleaned so much as spiffed, straightened, and vacuumed, not a task to be underestimated. Of course, we broke the belt thingie on the vacuum and had to stop for a bit while GH replaced it.

The TV viewing area, with a chair from the front room temporarily forming a reading nook. Once Ye Olde Christmas Tree goes to the end of the driveway for pick up, the chair will go back. But for now, it's kinda cute there.

The school room area. I like it this way; it's kicky and fun, if school rooms can be like that. Plus, I needed a change of atmosphere. Sometimes just scooching stuff from one end of the room to the other satisfies my need for change. How about you? Do you move your furniture around a lot? Or has it sat so long in one place that the foundation of your house might shift if you moved the couch? I know I love to move furniture around; our TV armoire used to be in our room. 

We also rearranged the girls' room; I'll post pics of that later. It was a hellish experience for GH; I couldn't decide where stuff should go and I kept asking him his opinion. He's not a fan of that. "Just tell me where you want it! Quit asking me what I like best! I don't like any of it! I hate their room!" Ok, ok, sheesh. Just because you're drowning in a sea of Barbies and Littlest Pet Shop is no reason to get snappy.

Anyway, I want to do the front room next, after we get rid of Christmas stuff. Poor GH. I better do some stretches so my hips don't stove up with all the shashaying I'm going to have to do to convince him to help me. I can see me now, as he eyes our 400 pound dining room table. "Look how easy!" I'll say. And then give my hips a good shake. He'll sigh, flex his muscles, and start hauling furniture up and down the room. He's sweet like that.

Lynn Meadows Discovery Center, R.I.P.

My mom and I, suckers that we are, took the kids to the Lynn Meadows Discovery Center in Gulfport. My mother-in-law works there and my father-in-law met us. Still, we will never be the same. And neither will ol' Lynn Meadows Discovery Center.

We played outside on the tree houses. Some of us played. Others of us had to sit in time out repeatedly until we captured our poor attitude and ceased speaking to Mommy in such a rude manner. Also, some of us climbed on top of the minivan in the parking lot and had to be disciplined for that little stunt as well. Don't worry, things got better. Sorta.

Ah, Pops, beloved grandfather and wearer of unattractive hats. Don't worry, I knit him a Santa hat for Christmas and he's promised to wear it for the next week until I knit him a plain red one that doesn't look as questionable as the gray job that's perched on top of his head.

Miraculously, MOS did not fall into the stream. I was pretty pleased. That's how low my standards are.

In case you were wondering which child was the one being punished while we were outside, here's a hint: it ain't this one.

Lord Voldemort here straightened up once we went inside and played dress up.

She's looking longingly out at the minivan in the parking lot, desiring to once again scale its grand heights.

Wassup playa?

And then we had tea. I took this pic of her and she took the one of me above. One of my goals is to take more pics of myself, or have them taken, as the case may be. Not a call to narcissism, but simply a wish that my own mother had had her picture made more when she was my age. She took tons of me, but I sometimes really want to see her, either with me or alone. So just in case my children ever want to look at a picture of me when they are older, either for medicinal (i.e. voodoo) purposes or personal reasons, then I will have more than one picture taken of me annually. 

Then GG1 wanted to play the vintage piano in the dress up area. I assented, and she swept her cloak 'round her shoulders and commenced playing. Even though the sun was streaming in through the windows, it still gave me the major heebie jeebies. So creepy!

To get that image out of your mind, here are some of GG3, willingly trying on various hats. I have lots more...I'll only post a couple so you don't get bored. But look how cute she is!

Who loves Strawberry Shortcake? I know I do. I had a Strawberry doll as a child that I slept with every night until....well, let's just say quite a while.

Then we did the pulleys in the science room. Some fat woman was trying to pull herself up on the single pulley and my sweet child pointed out that perhaps the double or even triple pulley might be easier. Oh, wait, that was me. No, I did not take a pic of me using the pulley. It was terrible. Just terrible.

Sure, it's easy when you only weigh 50 pounds. 

Finally, my mom and father-in-law took the kids outside to some sort of something that I didn't want to go do. I put GG3 in the nest that was in the toddler room. I "read" books to her. By read, I mean that I sat in the nest with her and frightened all the other toddlers that wanted to get in the nest. I am frightening, apparently. They should have seen me on the pulley.

Do you see what I have to go through?

So I knit all four of my children matching sweaters. Don't judge me; you know that I'm a geek. At least they are a nice dark green and not blue with snowflakes and reindeer knitted in. Those are for next year. Anyway, I then forced the children to pose for me while I attempted to capture a picture that would do for our Christmas card; I like for Christmas cards to send a message about our family. Hey! We're hip, we're cool, we have four kids but we still know how to rock! I think that instead of those inspiring messages my Christmas card this year will read: geeky and our mom dresses us funny. Oh well. I'll start a savings account now to pay for all their therapy!

Non-knitters, skip this paragraph! GG2's sweater, which has the two reddish buttons is this one (Rav link): Sweetheart Cardigan. A fast and fun knit; I especially like the ruffled edges. MOS's sweater, which he looks so depressed wearing, is the Runaround Raglan. I've knit several of these; I made his a size 4T and I think it will fit both this winter and next. GG3's sweater is a modified Urbanite. I have given up hope of ever knitting an adult version; so far I've used the cable pattern in two hats and this baby sweater. I even made the saddle shoulders that the pattern calls for; I think it's a very nice cable pattern and can obviously be used for babies and adults. GG1's sweater, which you can't see in this picture, is the ubiquitous Shalom cardigan. There are currently 3500 of these on Ravelry. I just made the smallest version and tried it on her as I went. Very fun and I think it's a good big girl sweater. For those of you who are yarn lovers like moi, the yarn is Amherst from Valley Yarns, here at Webs. It's 100% merino, heavy worsted weight, and it's only $3 a ball! Awesome! I was doubtful about this yarn, since it was so cheap, but I was very pleased. 

Ok, non-knitters can rejoin the commentary now :) I took these pictures at Marshall Park in Ocean Springs; I had my graduation party here in high school and I don't remember it being the Bermuda Triangle of photography, but obviously it is since I could not get all four of them cooperating at once.

GG3 was the second least cooperative; guess who was first.

That's right, Mother's Only Son, in full mouth-breathing glory. I think that both of them look particularly uninspiring in this picture. 

Of course, my big girls were only too cooperative. They enjoy having their pictures made and are game for any poses that I can come up with. Thanks, girls! You are the only redeeming things about the photo shoot!

This picture is an apt visual depiction of desperation.

Let's try a little smooch and see if that helps. Please note that MOS has run away by this point.

Then the smooching got out of hand.

I thought it would be a good idea if MOS held GG3; surely that would make him happy. It did, but my plan backfired because GG3 was totally not on board with the whole big brother holding her around the neck thing.

I tried a different angle of perspective; I think it was a success. You can't tell whether they are scowling or pensive and the mood of the photo shoot seems more upbeat, less desperate. I like it!

After the torture that was the photo shoot, I let them run free like the wild things that they are. They danced. I laid face down on the ground and cried. My Christmas cards are gonna be awesome this year!

Can you stand another birthday?

Good. Because Birthday Season has officially commenced. First up, GG3, already occurred on December 2. GG2's birthday is January 1, MOS's birthday is February 5, and GG1's is March 4. I swear we didn't plan this out. Oh, and GG1 and MOS were both born on Mardi Gras, just different years, and GG2 is New Year's Day, also a drunken holiday. GG3 is the odd man out, with no holiday to her name, but she was born on her cousin's birthday. Super! Without further ado, I bring you yet more birthday party pictures of GG3. Drum roll please....

GG3's personal cake, made by Nana. When you have a grandmother like Nana, one cake will simply not do. You get your own personal cake, which is every bit as superior as your real cake. Frequently, your own personal cake will have a yummy experimental icing in the center that Nana tries out on you. This one had this scrumptious vanilla butter cream deal in the layers, of which there were several. I recommend having Nana make your cakes for your next birthday.

Because in addition to your own personal cake, you get a super special deeeeluxe cake, like this precious lady bug pictured here. The deeeeeeluxe cake is always fancy, has always taken hours of time, and most importantly, is always delicious. GG3's cake is adorable, but you should have seen MOS's first birthday cake. It was an airplane, with rice krispie treat wings. I'll see if I can find a pic of it. Anyway, enough about cakes....moving on to presents.

When you're the fourth child, you don't get to open your own birthday presents until you're old enough to physically injure your older siblings if they try to unwrap them for you. Sorry, GG3, better luck next year.

When you're the fourth child, perhaps it's best to cut your losses....

And retreat to the safety of Daddy's legs.

GG3 gets her blue eyes from her Grandpa :)

Nana had to restrain GG3 from attacking her cake before we got a picture. Hold tight, Nana! We need a picture! Pops wants a piece of cake, too. Patience, Pops, patience. 

Ok, no more birthday pictures for a while. Well, "a while" in this family means two weeks, because then it'll be GG2's birthday. Sorry. Oh, and Nana? I hope you're ready to make a Barbie cake again, because that's what your granddaughter wants! And only Nana's Barbie cakes will do. I tried to make one last year and both girls cried over it because it wasn't as good. Mama tried, girls, Mama tried.

Jealous much?

Today I will post pictures of things guaranteed to make you jealous. And I'm talking crazy jealous, gnash your teeth over how awesome my life is, wish you were me type jealous. I thought about posting a picture of me in my maternity bathing suit, which is the only one that fits, but then I decided that you might suffer an aneurysm brought on by your extreme envy and then I would feel guilty. Therefore, I dialed back my pictures a bit and offer you this little nugget of delight, sure to fan the flames of discontent within your bosom:

Yep, I am the proud owner of four GEN-YOOOO-WINE faux Davy Crockett coonskin caps. 

I can hear you seething from here. Your rapid intake of breath when you glimpsed the magnificence that is my children's heads ensconced in acrylic coon fur was quite startling.

I can actually feel your covetousness through the computer monitor because you, too, desire above all else a coonskin cap. However, your desires will be met with frustration, because my father purchased these in Arizona and he only bought four. 

I, know, too, how impressively intelligent my children look in these hats. The hats add a certain raffishness to MOS, don't you think? No, you think it adds a certain simpleness? Perhaps a bit o' mouth breathing ambience? Well, I think he looks dapper and clever, not an easy feat for a two year old.

Moving on to my second series of pictures designed to create unending waves of jealousy: my Gran K came to visit this week. Now, who is Gran K, you might ask? She is my mother's (slightly) older sister, and she is everything you would ever want in a Gran K. The back of her SUV barely closes over all the presents and candy she brings my children each time she visits.

"Candy and presents? That would make me hate her," you might be thinking. But that's where you're wrong. Gran K brings candy and presents and then says the most blessed words a mother can hear, "These presents are for your mommy to hand out after I leave. And you may only have two pieces of candy a day. You must obey Mommy!" 

Gran K then proceeds to do all my laundry, wash all the dishes, vacuum the floors, make the beds and, most importantly, play with the children. In fact, within fifteen minutes of getting here, she said, "Okay, Mommy. Go lie down. I want the children all to myself." Awesome.

If you don't currently have a Gran K, I suggest you get one immediately. The only drawback to a Gran K is that she must leave after a few days because she is worn out from doing all my chores and playing with my children while I lie in bed and watch TV. And when Gran K leaves, oh brother, we're in trouble. The sobs, the sniffles, the longing cries begin: "GRAAAAAAAAN KKKKKKKKKKKKKK! When is she coming back? I miss her so MUCH!" 

Then GG1 says, "Pull it together, Mom. We'll be okay in a few days. Let's open those presents now, shall we?" So we open presents and I sniff a bit while sucking on a candy cane. I am only slightly mollified by the designer purse she bought me. It makes up a tiny bit for the fact that she's gone. GRAAAAAANNNNNN K! Come back!

Christmases of Yore

What we have here is my favorite Christmas ornament. For some reason, I love this one, always have. Obviously, it's old. My mother doesn't remember where it came from, but I'm guessing Hallmark. I don't know why I like it so much, but every year that I can remember I have taken great pains to hang it where it looks just right on the tree.

Even as an adult, I smile when I take it out of the box and hang it up. Maybe it's the snow-covered house, maybe it's the warm domesticity of the scene. Who knows. It's cute and the birds have their own tree in their house which I then hang on my tree in my house. A logic puzzle of some sort, perhaps?

I have several ornaments from my childhood, like this one. I think my mom cross stitched it but it might have been one of my aunts. Fun ornaments that are delightful and familiar.

Like this felt Winnie the Pooh. I believe that my cousin's grandmother made it for me. I think she also made a Kermit the Frog, but I couldn't find him this year.

Of course, I also have lots of horse ornaments. I had a vision when I was a newlywed that I would magically pull my disparate decorating ideas together and create a house teeming with order, symmetry, and coordinating color palettes. My Christmas tree, however, reflects my true self: 

Cluttered, multi-colored, a bit lopsided, and teeming with children in costumes. But it's a cheery tree and a cheery house, so I can't complain.

This angel has sat at the top of my tree for more years than I care to remember. She is made of a toilet paper tube. I kid you not.

But she has a sweet face, so I forgive her offensive body structure.

Every year when I unpack Christmas decorations I find this ornament and weep the tears of a bitter woman that I will never look like this again. But that's okay, because neither will GH. Look like me, I mean. He still looks pretty much just like he did when we got married eleven years ago. It's not fair. I am a hag, an absolute weary, embittered hag, and he's still dreamy. I demand a recount!

Ah, SpongeBob Square Pants. My children's favorite ornament. He adds such a je ne sais quoi to the tree, don't you think? And pretty much undermines all of my efforts at graceful decor and a delicate touch. Thanks, Sponge Bob, for keeping it real at Chez Geek. Rock on.