Jealous much?

Today I will post pictures of things guaranteed to make you jealous. And I'm talking crazy jealous, gnash your teeth over how awesome my life is, wish you were me type jealous. I thought about posting a picture of me in my maternity bathing suit, which is the only one that fits, but then I decided that you might suffer an aneurysm brought on by your extreme envy and then I would feel guilty. Therefore, I dialed back my pictures a bit and offer you this little nugget of delight, sure to fan the flames of discontent within your bosom:

Yep, I am the proud owner of four GEN-YOOOO-WINE faux Davy Crockett coonskin caps. 

I can hear you seething from here. Your rapid intake of breath when you glimpsed the magnificence that is my children's heads ensconced in acrylic coon fur was quite startling.

I can actually feel your covetousness through the computer monitor because you, too, desire above all else a coonskin cap. However, your desires will be met with frustration, because my father purchased these in Arizona and he only bought four. 

I, know, too, how impressively intelligent my children look in these hats. The hats add a certain raffishness to MOS, don't you think? No, you think it adds a certain simpleness? Perhaps a bit o' mouth breathing ambience? Well, I think he looks dapper and clever, not an easy feat for a two year old.

Moving on to my second series of pictures designed to create unending waves of jealousy: my Gran K came to visit this week. Now, who is Gran K, you might ask? She is my mother's (slightly) older sister, and she is everything you would ever want in a Gran K. The back of her SUV barely closes over all the presents and candy she brings my children each time she visits.

"Candy and presents? That would make me hate her," you might be thinking. But that's where you're wrong. Gran K brings candy and presents and then says the most blessed words a mother can hear, "These presents are for your mommy to hand out after I leave. And you may only have two pieces of candy a day. You must obey Mommy!" 

Gran K then proceeds to do all my laundry, wash all the dishes, vacuum the floors, make the beds and, most importantly, play with the children. In fact, within fifteen minutes of getting here, she said, "Okay, Mommy. Go lie down. I want the children all to myself." Awesome.

If you don't currently have a Gran K, I suggest you get one immediately. The only drawback to a Gran K is that she must leave after a few days because she is worn out from doing all my chores and playing with my children while I lie in bed and watch TV. And when Gran K leaves, oh brother, we're in trouble. The sobs, the sniffles, the longing cries begin: "GRAAAAAAAAN KKKKKKKKKKKKKK! When is she coming back? I miss her so MUCH!" 

Then GG1 says, "Pull it together, Mom. We'll be okay in a few days. Let's open those presents now, shall we?" So we open presents and I sniff a bit while sucking on a candy cane. I am only slightly mollified by the designer purse she bought me. It makes up a tiny bit for the fact that she's gone. GRAAAAAANNNNNN K! Come back!